Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Lunch Time Meanderings

I'm sitting here, scarfing down some New Direction Vanilla Pudding and figured I'd share some of my challenges and successes as of late.

For what it's worth, the pudding is far less satisfactory than it was last July. I am trying ---  every day --- trying to get off the sugars, the carbs, the alcohol.. man, I sometimes wonder how I did this at all last year. I feel so weak to my cravings. I'm a rock star from 6am - 2pm and then BAM! Hello cravings. I feel like I could eat everything in the house. I am mentally beating myself up about it, every morning resolved to do better than the day before - and that goes for today as well. It is so hard not to feel down about it, but rather to face each day as a chance to do better....

But despite that challenge - I saw, just now, the lowest number on the scale during the current weight adventure. I can't say with certainty that I've broken thru my plateau, but I really WANT to get to 165lbs by the end of April and so, seeing that scale move is an encouragement in a way that I can't explain. I know my self worth isn't defined by a number. I know that. It still doesn't lessen how easily buoyed or deflated we are to see that number move....

So, I'm a data person, stick with me.... current vs. lost to date

Weight: 178.5lbs - total 77.5lbs lost
Waist: 33 inches - lost 21 inches total - OMG, that's almost 2 feet around of person.
Hips: 42 inches -  lost 11 inches total
Chest: 36 inches - lost 15 inches total
That's a total of 47 inches lost. Wrap your head around that one. I think I have a kid or two that aren't even that tall.

Size 12 from 22.
I'll spare you the sad state of my undergarments but let's just say, it's sort of embarrassing.

I am turning 39 this year. I am the mother of 3 girls, all delivered by C-section, all under age 8. I have an underlying heart condition and a family history of high cholesterol. I have a sugar addiction and struggle with binge eating. I have, probably a mild depressive tendency that makes me a little cyclical and self destructive. I (still) have a belly. Other jiggly bits that may never go away. Lets be serious, I'm never going to look like Jennifer Aniston.

But, I am me. Fighting the good fight. Day in an day out. Running, several miles at a clip. Training for a 10K. Moving my body in ways I never dreamed I'd be strong enough to. Convicted by God to change my ways both spiritual and earthly....

That's me. No makeup. No filter. No fuss. Just a real person really struggling with every bite, every sip, every step, and finding joy in the journey.

Feb 3, 2016 selfie


Sabrina Bradshaw said...

I'm so impressed with you Mara. I can't imagine how hard this journey is for you but I appreciate your realness and your determination. Your girls have a great role model smile emoticon

Rachel Lau said...

Wow - I know your struggles. Keep working at it.