Monday, November 16, 2015

Looking in the Mirror

There comes a point, in any major weight loss journey when you look in the mirror and say: Who is that? 

I realized about a month ago, I had reached that magical weight where all of a sudden everyone was noticing. People that I know didn't recognize me. I could tell they were wondering...what to say? What was I doing? What plan? What pill? Was I sick? Did I have a major health issue?

I always responded with: "I've been working on it." Feeling proud at the beginning, fielding questions,... no I'm not sick. Yes, I'm on a plan. Dr. monitored. Yes, it is healthy. Yes, I'm eating "real" food again.

I got to a point where I tired of my response. I sounded like a broken record. It also made me realize that people who saw me, saw the weight. Oddly, I didn't.

But I'm grateful. I've proven that I can change. People can change. We can control ourselves in the midst of temptation. We can turn the ship around. We can do it with God's transformational power.

But back to the mirror. About a month ago, when I looked into it, I stopped seeing the feminine softness that I've always had... and horror, I see my brother! No really, my brother's a handsome guy, but my face started to look more angular, less soft.

Then family photos. I got the album last night. We were so lucky to have such a talented photographer in Megan! I was startled once again by my image. Who is this girl? I saw skinny when I was big. I see a stranger now that I am smaller. It is going to be an adjustment.

It's a joyful and celebratory moment but I'm acutely aware that it is fleeting and wordly. It is only a body after all. Recognizing my temptations and battling my own demons -  that's a daily fight - whether it is related to food or my other human failings.

So, who do you see when you look in the mirror? I see someone that Jesus loves, soft face, angular face, God sees me beautiful every day. That is something to be thankful for.

Total weight loss to date: 78 lbs.
Weight til next goal: 3 lbs
Weight off adult low: 3lbs

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