Monday, August 24, 2015

Finding new ways

If there is anything sure in this life, well... I guess the first thing is death. We're all going to die. But after that cheery thought... we can be sure, life will change.

And change.

And change some more.

And just when you're comfortable - BAM! It'll happen again.

Part of success in life, whatever your place - whatever your personal challenge - whatever your hope - dream - goal - how you respond to change, that is what will make or break you.

Each morning we are given a new opportunity to react to the changes coming our way. Will we stress? Will we be fearful? Will we find a work around? Will we forge on? Will we quit? Will we have a tantrum like a two year old?

Or will we continue to move forward in obedience? Find new ways?

Sometimes it is the string of failures that brings success. Sometimes it is seeing differently - embracing radical thoughts or conventional thoughts in a radical age - maybe it is simply asking for help - maybe it is admitting weakness - maybe it is remembering WHY you started in the first place.

What is your WHY?

I'm struck this afternoon by the metamorphosis that I've seen in my own life. In my marriage. In my attitude. In my ambition. In my mothering. In my body. In my faith. Like shifting sands the focus of my daily life changes, but I can see clearly the thread as if I my human energies are waves crashing on the eternal sands of the shore... the constant routine changes the landscape but you cannot see it in a moment only after the passage of time. I've changed. Maybe it isn't noticeable from yesterday to today. But it is from year to year.

I'm struggling right this moment with some changes that appear to be coming. They may not be bad changes, they could be GREAT! But they're different and so my hackles are up. I will just keep doing what I do... taking steps forward, finding new ways, and see what amazing things God has in store.

Amen for that.

Weight lost to date: 53.5 lbs
Weight til goal: 4.5 lbs (flirting with Onderland)
What next: Working on Couch to 5K, thinking 5K in Phoenix this winter.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015


Maelstrom is just a good word. A really good word. I think I need to use it. Maelstrom. Are you living in a Maelstrom? A powerful whirlpool or... a a situation or state of confused movement or violent turmoil? If you feel like you are, well, you are not alone. I'm pretty sure what we've been living could be adequately described as a maelstrom. There might be a bit of hyperbole there but not much. 

a maelstrom

It has been a week. And, it is, ummm.... Tuesday. 

We've been reading Jesus Calling for Kids to the girls each night before bed. It's an App for my phone - which, I love. Most nights the lure of bedtime liberates me from my desire to convey meaningful life lessons to the girls in favor of: "It's bed time! Go to sleep!" The Jesus Calling for Kids App is really nice cause I don't have to think, I just have to read.... and that is all I seem capable of at bedtime, or the moment for that matter. 

Last night Hubs was home for bedtime. Celebrate small victories. 

So, I pulled out my phone and VOILA! The life lesson. But funny how God works. Not really for the kids this time. Really for us. Hubs and I shared a knowing glance. 

"Some days leave you feeling like Dorothy, spinning around in the middle of a tornado (Maelstrom!) and terrified that you are going to fall at any moment. When that happens, whisper My Name. 


.   .  . One word opens your heart to My Power and Peace in the middle of the storm. Always remember. I am only one word away." 

Hubs and I both said, "I've said the name Jesus a couple of times today." That's not hyperbole, I have no doubt we both had. Jesus. 

There is so much that is out of our control. It is in His hands. We can do our best to prod along in the way we think things should go but only if it is His will. As of yesterday morning, we were without final underwriting approval on our home loan and closing is scheduled Friday. The reality of the loan approval being outstanding hit me on Saturday and resulted in a hormone induced cleaning rage. Hubs seemed impervious. It hit him yesterday and his usual cool demeanor was interrupted with a furrowed brow and an actual discussion on what do we do if come Friday night we are without a new home and facing a move to..... where?

I'm not one to stress. But this... this has caused me stress.  Thankfully, this morning, without prodding, the loan company came thru with the final approval and now it seems like it is all tying up documents, funds and financing with a nice little bow and all will be well. The feelings, the overwhelming sense of forces outside of our control continues though... and that maelstrom may not end for a while. 

I'm pretty sure I've put this one on my blog before but I'm certain it has become my favorite verse and why I want to cover my new house in watery hues, ships and anchors... oh, and Mary & Martha stuff, that too! 

Thursday, August 13, 2015

3 Things Thurs: Clean, Paint, Move

It's been an unusual and somewhat low energy week here in Eddy world. I've reached a point of malaise in my diet - I am neither for nor against my current eating - for or against my current weight -for or against my current goals. Seems strange as I am within 12 lbs of my goal with Onderland on the horizon... but I'm just kinda Bleh.

I think the stress of it all is getting to me.... let me 'xplain... no, let me sum up:

1. Clean

Clean eating. Clean the house. Clean slate. I can't keep up with all the "cleaning" that my life seems to be demanding right now. On the one hand, I've done a complete detox of my body. I see it in my lab results, I see it in my blood pressure. I feel it in my bones, my muscles, my skin. I'm cleaning up. The body - the diet - the life. Clean. Clean. Clean.

But I still feel like a mess. A big HOT mess to be exact. We're in the final stages of underwriting on a big home loan that seems both unreal and unattainable and yet we're told this is well within our means and happening. Lot of my peers have gone on to have much more success in life, but for us - our little world of moving states, carrying property from the recession, babies, renting and what-not, to be buying that house - the family house - the house we intend to live in for the next 20-30 years - that is BIG. And messy, and man, I wish I had my self all clean about it. Organized. Ready. But, I'm just a big hot mess.

2. Paint

Within the last 24 hours, I've had lengthy conversations about paint colors, trim, white-washing. Man, it is so freakin' exciting. I feel like Chip & Joanna Gaines just showed up at my door and I'm in line for the house of my dreams. Newness! It's all this Aries can hope for. Spark baby, come on!

It's also a little foreign. Frightening. A lot scary really. With all that paint comes the tendency to get wrapped up in looks and forget the substance at what goes on within that home. It's a feeling I am experiencing with my old-but-new-again body as well. I could go nuts dressing this frame now - I want it all. But again, it feels synthetic and at my core it's just me, hoping to be around a bit longer and healthier than I was before. So, what is it that I really want out of this new home? This new body?

3. Move

Here we go again. 2 blocks north, 2 blocks south. It's almost laughable that we're moving right back down where we came from 18 months ago.

And in a similiar vein... I've been moving again. Got myself in the gym and on the road, lacing up and breaking a sweat. It feels good but I've got a long way to go. I am absolutely determined not to take my eyes off the diet this time. I will not become so obsessed with running that I feel I've earned the ability to eat what I want... which is exactly where all this went south several years back. Move.... moving... there seems to be a theme.

Weight lost to date: 47 lbs
Weight til goal: 11 lbs
Inches lost: 25 inches (7 chest, 14 waist, 4 hips) WHAT? That's nuts!! Mmmm, nuts..