Monday, July 6, 2015

Food? Who needs it?

I started this crazy diet on June 4, 2015.

Today is July 6, 2015. .


31 days.

What have I eaten? Well, that's a much smaller list than what I haven't. Here's what I've got going in my tummy over the course of the month:

Chocolate Shake with Fiber
Vanilla Shake with Fiber
Mocha Shake
Lemon Pudding with Fiber
Vanilla Pudding
Chocolate Pudding
Vegetarian Sloppy Joe
Vegetarian Chili

Each of these items is pre-engineered to contain 200 cals and 1/3rd of my daily nutrients. I have graduated down from 4 of the above items a day to 3.

Items not pre-engineered but ok:

Water
Water
Water
Metamucil
Hot Sauce
Jalepenos
Water
Water

Water
Torani Sugar Free Salted Caramel Coffee flavor
Torani Sugar Free Hazelnut Coffee flavor
Almond Extract
Water
Peppermint Tea
Chocolate / Hazelnut Tea
and I've drank 2 - yes, 2, diet sodas

I'm at this strange junction. I miss food. I mean... I reaaaaallllllly miss food.... but I am also kind of afraid of it. I can handle feeding the kids. I can handle eating out with the family (although this weekend we had the longest meal ever at some brew house and I kind wanted to jump up and scream). Sometimes the smells get to me... like pizza... or Subway... or cookies. But for the most part. I am ok. When I have been hungry or feeling weak, I've let myself have that 4th meal replacement. Would rather do that than scarf down 1200 calories of nothing that would cause my system to have a complete panic in its ketogenic state.


I'm thinking another month of full meal replacements and we will see where I am at. I am scared to have options again. I don't trust myself. I've lost the weight before and I've gained it back. Clearly I am not good at making my own decisions! There is some element of beauty in just doing what you are told. I miss the social aspect of eating. Hubs and I were at a loss about how to celebrate our anniversary - normally we'd eat! My doctor says that in another month, I'll be dying for real food. Maybe.....

Here's where I am:

Total weight lost to date: 26.5 lbs
Weight to lose to goal: 31.5 lbs
Inches lost in my waist: 12 inches
Blood Pressure change: From 130/82 to 112/70
Total Cholesterol: 154 to 100
Triglycerides: 159 to 79

Have I mentioned I'm an emotional / stress eater? So, we're buying a house in August.
This is going to go well......

6 comments:

Catherine Spinner said...

I just found your blog through a pin on pinterest. I just turned in all my paperwork at the Doctor's and waiting for my evaluation. I did the same thing by looking on the internet about this New Direction program. I wanted some motivation, insight, success stories. I found nothing. I was trolling around today and found your last couple blog posts and feel more motivated. I am 32, married, no children. I have found a way over the last 10 years to put on 80 lbs. It just happened in a blink of an eye. I was always athletic and a competitive swimmer in my younger days. Now, I have just accepting being the big girl. I can't do it anymore. I went to the doctors last week for a check up and the scale said 199.9 (I am 5'2") OMG! I am 200lbs! I have to do this this time! My problem is sticking to it. I am reading that is sucks and it is not easy, but you are doing it. That is really helping me get the right mind set for this. I just want to let you know I am here and you are helping me!

Catherine Spinner said...

I just found your blog through a pin on pinterest. I just turned in all my paperwork at the Doctor's and waiting for my evaluation. I did the same thing by looking on the internet about this New Direction program. I wanted some motivation, insight, success stories. I found nothing. I was trolling around today and found your last couple blog posts and feel more motivated. I am 32, married, no children. I have found a way over the last 10 years to put on 80 lbs. It just happened in a blink of an eye. I was always athletic and a competitive swimmer in my younger days. Now, I have just accepting being the big girl. I can't do it anymore. I went to the doctors last week for a check up and the scale said 199.9 (I am 5'2") OMG! I am 200lbs! I have to do this this time! My problem is sticking to it. I am reading that is sucks and it is not easy, but you are doing it. That is really helping me get the right mind set for this. I just want to let you know I am here and you are helping me!

Catherine Spinner said...

I just found your blog through a pin on pinterest. I just turned in all my paperwork at the Doctor's and waiting for my evaluation. I did the same thing by looking on the internet about this New Direction program. I wanted some motivation, insight, success stories. I found nothing. I was trolling around today and found your last couple blog posts and feel more motivated. I am 32, married, no children. I have found a way over the last 10 years to put on 80 lbs. It just happened in a blink of an eye. I was always athletic and a competitive swimmer in my younger days. Now, I have just accepting being the big girl. I can't do it anymore. I went to the doctors last week for a check up and the scale said 199.9 (I am 5'2") OMG! I am 200lbs! I have to do this this time! My problem is sticking to it. I am reading that is sucks and it is not easy, but you are doing it. That is really helping me get the right mind set for this. I just want to let you know I am here and you are helping me!

Catherine Spinner said...

I just found your blog through a pin on pinterest. I just turned in all my paperwork at the Doctor's and waiting for my evaluation. I did the same thing by looking on the internet about this New Direction program. I wanted some motivation, insight, success stories. I found nothing. I was trolling around today and found your last couple blog posts and feel more motivated. I am 32, married, no children. I have found a way over the last 10 years to put on 80 lbs. It just happened in a blink of an eye. I was always athletic and a competitive swimmer in my younger days. Now, I have just accepting being the big girl. I can't do it anymore. I went to the doctors last week for a check up and the scale said 199.9 (I am 5'2") OMG! I am 200lbs! I have to do this this time! My problem is sticking to it. I am reading that is sucks and it is not easy, but you are doing it. That is really helping me get the right mind set for this. I just want to let you know I am here and you are helping me!

Catherine Spinner said...

I just found your blog through a pin on pinterest. I just turned in all my paperwork at the Doctor's and waiting for my evaluation. I did the same thing by looking on the internet about this New Direction program. I wanted some motivation, insight, success stories. I found nothing. I was trolling around today and found your last couple blog posts and feel more motivated. I am 32, married, no children. I have found a way over the last 10 years to put on 80 lbs. It just happened in a blink of an eye. I was always athletic and a competitive swimmer in my younger days. Now, I have just accepting being the big girl. I can't do it anymore. I went to the doctors last week for a check up and the scale said 199.9 (I am 5'2") OMG! I am 200lbs! I have to do this this time! My problem is sticking to it. I am reading that is sucks and it is not easy, but you are doing it. That is really helping me get the right mind set for this. I just want to let you know I am here and you are helping me!

Catherine Spinner said...

I just found your blog through a pin on pinterest. I just turned in all my paperwork at the Doctor's and waiting for my evaluation. I did the same thing by looking on the internet about this New Direction program. I wanted some motivation, insight, success stories. I found nothing. I was trolling around today and found your last couple blog posts and feel more motivated. I am 32, married, no children. I have found a way over the last 10 years to put on 80 lbs. It just happened in a blink of an eye. I was always athletic and a competitive swimmer in my younger days. Now, I have just accepting being the big girl. I can't do it anymore. I went to the doctors last week for a check up and the scale said 199.9 (I am 5'2") OMG! I am 200lbs! I have to do this this time! My problem is sticking to it. I am reading that is sucks and it is not easy, but you are doing it. That is really helping me get the right mind set for this. I just want to let you know I am here and you are helping me!