Tuesday, September 30, 2014


My job is to assess risk. I gather information. I prioritize issues. I break it down. I boil it up. I must decide what strategy to employ. I position the case. I pick the number. I roll the dice.

I am employed to make decisions. Hopefully I make good ones that protect the Company. My decisions, at the end of the day are what determine whether I am a top performer or a poor performer.

I'll be honest here - I am lucky. I am really lucky. For the most part, making decisions comes easy to me. It is something that is built into my personality.

When the family can't decide where to vacation- I do.  Where to eat after church? I got that. Date night? I'll handle it. Car to buy? Got it.

I don't labor things. I do them. I am a doer. Yes or no. Now or later. I'll make the call. When you aren't afraid of making decisions, life seems pretty easy. You skim the paragraph and the answer jumps out. You read the headlines and see the meaning. Things are clear. Purpose comes with ease.

I have, for many months now, felt a good deal of unease. I have felt the sands shifting. Almost as if the foundation was shaking. I have not faced an big decisions yet but I know they are coming. That unease makes me wonder and all of a sudden the purpose isn't so clear and the answers not as easy.

I have started to wonder. Started to worry..

When it comes to the big decisions - the personal life decisions - the ones that risk safety and security - the ones that involve leaving what I know  - the ones that you dream of making but fear of failing -- those decisions.. will it be so easy? Will I make the right one?

When I assess the risk in my own life, will I shy away with fear? Will I boldly proclaim who I am and what I stand for? Will leap with faith or seek refuge in the things I know and play it safe?

The unease has been foreboding an approaching period in my life where I will be assessing. It is coming. I will need to determine the risk. I will need to make decisions. I suspect the unease is that the Spirit knows what is coming, and He has me preparing. I am fortifying myself to face fears that I have happily ignored for many years. I will trust His promise. I will trust His timing. I will trust that the decision that I am making - it is His. I give it to God. I will end up... We will end up...where we are meant to be. I can either allows the unease and fear seep into my daily life or I can rest easy, knowing my lighthouse will carry me safe to shore.

1 comment:

Pastor Ken said...

Praying for you! May God bless you, give you discernment and grant you peace!