With a flood of post-baby-delivery hormones and the resulting emotions, I've been feeling and thinking a lot of things over the past week, mostly in a sleep deprived middle of the night stupor fading in and out of network infomercials... but you get the idea. It looks something along the lines of this:
Oh, yeah.. that's Ivy Grace. She's the newest little member of our sorority, and she's pretty freaking awesome.
But, back to me... I mean, it is my blog.
Tomorrow is 2014.
Did you get the memo? 2014. Good Lord, that seems sort of big in a Back to the Future kind of way. 2014. For me, that means it has been 3 years since my triumphant "Year of Mara" or so Shannon likes to call it... 3 years since I went out and tackled my lifelong body issues. Lost 100 lbs in a year. Became a runner. Go hot (unlike Got Milk, which is my current state). Wore heels. Shopped in sizes unattainable even in high school... ok, I could keep going and going and going on this list. You get the idea. 2011 rocked.
A lot has happened since then. I need not catalog that. But over the past week. I've come to grips with where I am, and where I want to be, and they are not currently in sync. Thus..
Yesterday I got on the scale. Oh, the horror.
Today, I put on the clearance Old Navy exercise pants in a size I swore I'd never buy again.
And tomorrow, it is 2014.
I will be back out there. I know I can do it. I've done it before. I will face the fact that I will not be able to just throw on my Garmin and log 5 miles. Fact is, my Garmin isn't even charged (is it in the closet? in a box?) and running is pretty much a dream right now. I've got work to do before the real work can even begin. And that's ok. We all start somewhere. I know where I am starting. There is this pesky little issue of post-c-section recovery as well, so I'm a realist. I can only do what I can do . Are those pain meds talking?
The numbers aren't all bad. I've dropped 30 lbs since delivery, but I've still got plenty to go. And so, without further ado, the first in a series of goals for 2014:
To lose 20lbs by my birthday.
If you don't know my birthday that makes it easy for me to fudge. Ha! So, basically 20lbs by April. I think that is totally attainable. Losing 20lbs will be the confidence booster I need to keep going. I'm doing this the old fashioned way... nothing fancy, nothing easy. I'm tracking calories in and calories out. I'm going to get moving. Same old recipe I used last time. No gym membership. No counting points. No fancy gadgets (that comes later). Just me facing my demons in the kitchen. If there was anything that 2012 taught me, it is that you can burn 1,000 calories a day (by running 8 miles) and still gain weight if you consume 3,000 celebratory calories when you are done. I've learned my weakness despite knowing my weakness all along:
It is food. Quantity and quality. Food. I just like food a tad bit too much.
So, food.... you've been warned. I'm taking back control and 2014 will be mine... bewahahwahhaha!