This blog, this attitude, this diet, needs a renovation. Life is a journey, and unfortunately not all of that journey is forward. Sometimes we fall back, into old habits, old attitudes, old ways. I've been doing a Yo-Yo all year, my first year in Phoenix, from conviction and doubt, from acceptance to denial... you name it, I've felt it, every high and every low.
And what I've learned is this: It is okay.
Yep. That's my nugget of wisdom: It is okay.
It is okay to fail and doubt and wonder. It is okay to re-prioritize and change. And it is even better to come back and remember what it feels like to feel good, to feel like the best Eddy, the most energized and upbeat Eddy I can be. Because, as we've all learned tragically this week, the only thing I can control is me, and whether, when the moment comes, I run from fear of evil, or I run straight into that evil and be a force for good.
So, I'm a week back in taking control of what I am doing, and not just letting the emotions of the day buffet me from moment to moment without anchor. I'm in control of this. I need help and can't do it by myself (thank you God), but I am tired of sabotaging my own well being.
I'm 6 days off sugar. I'm 6 days in on calorie counting and consistently exercising. If past performance is an indicator of future performance, I've been good for a couple of weeks then fall back... but I want to feel good again, and I want to be healthy, and if I keep my mind on that, I'm hoping that I can stop this Yo-Yo before it happens again.