Friday, May 18, 2012

It is Ok to Struggle

I can't locate the source of my anxiety. I can't say that it is________ or _______. It just is. I've been on edge. I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm just unsure of myself. I've lost my mojo somewhere around here and I can't find it.

Perhaps it is a self fulfilling prophecy. I worried a LOT about what a move to the desert would do for my progress. I should have tackled this with the attitude that it was the ultimate challenge - a total new place to test my fortitude. I think a lot of my anger is that I'm failing to do that.

Instead, I've closed the door. I'm not going out. I'm returned to the comfort of my house, my treadmill, my larger size clothes, my comfort foods, my sweets. I'm frustrated. I'm angry. I'm afraid.

I don't want to go back.

This is all a good reason for why I haven't been blogging.

I don't want to go back.

All I have come up with is this -- it is ok to struggle. It is okay. As long as I keep fighting. Struggle is part of the process. There are going to be ups and downs. I just have to keep trying. I will get thru this and be better for it in the end.

2 comments:

K Blue said...

You are right. You will get through this. And struggle is part of the process...not fun, but it is how we grow and get stronger. I find you very inspiring. Keep fighting!

Just Jen said...

Struggling is not easy but sometimes a necessary evil to triumph. Don't give up , keep pushing!