Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Let's get Physical!
It was this time last year when a couple of well timed coincidences allowed me to see that my size was preventing me from being an active participant in my life.
The condensed version: A business trip to California (which was a low for me - purchasing a size 26 dress pants for comfort for the trip) and the accompanying plane ride. I used to love travel and now I dreaded the plane.
My total and complete inability to participate in the playing that my toddlers were enjoying in our front yard. My loyal followers will recall that it was the shameful purchase of a black swim suit bottom that put me over the top.
I was sidelined. I was sitting. I was watching the game of my life and I couldn't get off the bench. And it was my own fault.
As with all great revelations, it took me a couple of weeks to mull over the ramifications of my self declared 'benching'. As a responsible adult, I figured I should take the advice of all great weight loss programs, and consult my doctor prior to starting my diet or exercise regimen.
So, I called Dean. I requested an appointment for a physical. I am ashamed to admit that since I had been busy having babies or trying to have babies for the previous 5 or so years, I hadn't actually HAD a full blown physical - like - ever.
The receptionist nicely explained that they were booked solid. That she could put me in the system and if I needed to see a doctor for an issue that I could come in, but that she had no appointments for a physical until August ---wait for it --- 2012.
I was flabbergasted. Huh. Here I had done the responsible thing and made the first step towards addressing my health and they had no time for me.
I kept mulling. I thought a lot about the motivation for setting up the physical. I knew deep down in my heart of hearts exactly what they were going to tell me. All of the issues that I felt-- the increase in my blood pressure, the lack of energy, the mild depression-- that my weight and lack of exercise were the reason for it all.
I thought about what they would tell me to do about it. They -- the doctor, the nurses - would say:
"Mara, you need to eat less and do more."
The reluctant me would ask - "How doctor? How can I lose the weight?"
The doctor would say - "You make time, and you be selfish, and you just do it."
In the end, I realized that I didn't need a physical to get that advice. I wasn't stupid. I knew what I needed to do. I just needed to actually do it.
Why am I thinking about this now?
I went for my blood work this morning. My physical got rescheduled and is, in fact, next Monday evening. I had my blood drawn and they are doing a full review of my cholesterol, thyroid, liver function, you name it. I filled out my pre-appointment work sheet. I proudly put in my weight from last year and my weight today.
It would have been interesting to see what the blood work would have shown last year. Now I am certain the tests will show what I have been feeling deep down in my soul-- that I am well and good and fine, and all I really needed was time.