Thursday, June 30, 2011

7 Years

It has been 7 years and...

1 trip to Disney World
3 states
1 associate degree
2 beautiful baby girls
4 bed and breakfasts
6 jobs
5 moves
1 heart surgery
5 vehicles
1 trip to the Caribbean (clearly we are lacking in this category)

and between the both of us - 135 pounds + lost. And since this fateful picture, no less:

You have been my partner in crime. My better half. My lover. My best friend. My light. My best conversation and my most comfortable silence. This day, 7 years ago, was the amazing first day of our lifelong adventure together. I was excited about our small wedding in Canterbury New Hampshire but I was more ecstatic about the marriage that has followed and the future that we weave together every day. I can't wait to see where life takes us and to sit and remember all these amazing times when we are old (holding hands on a beach with palm trees somewhere).

I love you babe.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Active. Alive.

Wax on. Wax off. There is a certain rhythm that my days, my weeks, my months have fallen into. A rhythm that I try to emulate on my IPOD. I try to capture in my emotional variances. A rhythm that would do me well to find in all aspects of my life.

It is a consistent, premeditated, calculated prescription for well being. Prescribed by me to my former self. It is--- be active.

Changing up my lifestyle has changed a lot for me and about me.

For example, aside from the really obvious things like being able to walk into ANY store and fitting into clothing off the rack, I can...

1. Touch my toes
2. Enjoy eating fish
3. Cross my legs
4. Run 4 miles without stopping
5. Swim a 500 freestyle (again)

Ok, so I am having a mental block. I could have sworn there were more things on this list. But the overwhelming surprise in all of this is how much better I feel. Duh. Ok, stick with me here. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. I feel connected to the landscape that I run through. I feel refreshed by the air that goes in and out of my lungs. I feel cleansed of the stress, doubt, worry or self consciousness that I carry within me. I feel strong, confident (dry and secure? - Wait - no that's a deodorant). I finally feel like the Mara that I always remembered and wondered about.

I feel alive.

I've been waffling about whether or not I am going to get to the 100 lbs mark. I've been sitting at 90 lbs for two weeks and thinking - what else can I do? I've come so far, is it really failing if I don't get to 100 lbs?

Hell yes.

I will get to 100lbs. I've been slacking. I've been drinking too much vino. I've had too many bites of gelato, cupcakes, you name it. I've got to find my straight and narrow again. No more sliding off the plan.

It is my plan. I made it. Time to finish it. Be Active. Be Alive.

Weight loss this week: 1.5lbs
Total loss to date: 91.5 lbs
Weight to lose until goal: 8.5 lbs

And just cause I am feeling super proud this morning. Here are my running stats from this week. It was a great week for running here in Central Wisconsin. The weather was cool. Completely refreshing, liberating even.

Total Distance: 11.99 mi
Time: 03:01:07 h:m:s
Avg Speed: 5.9 mph
Avg HR: 157 bpm
Calories: 1,525 C

And now, I am off like a dirty shirt. Gotta get movin!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Panic or otherwise titled: An Ode to The Smiths

In the vein of The Smiths, "Some Girls are Bigger than Others.." (a notoriously frivolous lyric) I make the following statement: some weeks are better than others. Or perhaps I should be even more specific, some weekENDS are better than others.

This weekend was really good for my mental and emotional state. It wasn't great for my diet. Oops.

(In keeping with the Smiths theme, perhaps "Bigmouth Strikes Again" is a better title, food for thought....)

If we are looking for someone to blame, I blame the tasty tidbits and adult beverages. Darn tasty tidbits! Why must you be so tasty? And adult beverages, why do you have to be sooooo.... soooo relaxing AND highly caloric?

I officially tasted and drank myself back into the two pounds that I was down on Thursday. "Stop me if you think you've heard this one before." (Hmm. How many Smith's songs can I put in one blog post?)

Weight loss this week: .5lbs
Total loss to date: 90 lbs ("Half a person"?)
Weight til next goal: 10 lbs

And to top off my decadent weekend, I didn't exercise either day! I laugh in the face of my spandex. "Sheila take a bow."

This morning, I paid the price. But, I strapped on my sneaks and headed out. Ran 4.8 miles and did the P90 sculpt workout. Burned 671 calories. It is time to reinstate the self discipline. I've got a big 10 lbs to lose in the next two months. "Panic" in the streets of Madison!

And a little whining never hurt my cause: "Please, please, please, let me get what I want".... this time. "How soon is now?"

Friday, June 17, 2011

Crema Cafe

Lets just be very clear on one thing. In no way am I in any way qualified to critique food, wine or anything epicurean for that matter. I am pretty much a fan of all things tasty and have very little distinction in my palate (or whatever they call it). I know what I like. I know what I don't like.

I come to your now with a new series of blog posts. See, us Eddy's, well, we love breakfast. All things breakfast. Eggs, bacon, pancakes, orange juice, its all good. For years I have been begging my brother to start a blog wherein he discusses his tour of breakfast joints in Minneapolis. He has not taken me up on my suggestion.

So, I'll do it.

I have the luxury of having some free time on Friday mornings every other week. I've decided, in order to be a better and more well rounded citizen of Madison, that I will (with the assistance of my lovely sidekick - my mother -) pick a different local place to eat breakfast and discuss my findings here. If that interests you, read on.

This morning with complete randomness, I internet searched - Breakfast, Madison. Up popped Creme Cafe. Off we went. I really had no idea what to expect. I knew we were heading to a strip mall on Monona Dr., but beyond that, I had no clue.

What a nice little surprise! Upon our arrival, we spied a group lounging outside on the sidewalk enjoying the view of the lake and the distance facade of the Capital building. Inside, the cafe was clean, uncluttered and clearly popular. It was well attended at the hour of 8:30am on a Friday. The clientele appeared to be largely female and ranged in age from the sporty retiree to the hipster college student (perhaps Grad, I can't tell ages like I used to be able to!).

Mom and I mulled over the printed menus and the chalk boards. A note on the menu, it looks fairly limited but there seems to be something for every taste. We made the following selections:

Mara: Egg Scramble of the Day - which today included, Zucchini, Red Pepper, Goat Cheese (how is that EVER wrong?) and chives with a side of sweet potato hash and fresh squeezed orange juice.

Mom: Sweet Ginger French Toast which consisted of a nice little french bread topped with sweet ginger masarpone and candied pecans. A sure diet buster but we had to try it. DE-LISH!

The food came out fresh and fast (ambiance bonus points for hearing the chef's loud kitchen conversation and order up jollies!) and nicely portioned. This is not the plate of food you would get at Denny's. A nice human size portion and in my case, accompanied by a nice side salad of nicely dressed greens. Did you get that? It was nice.

Coffee takers came and went. Others stayed with laptops. A group of ladies met for breakfast, couple in the corner. The place looks kid friendly, even boasting a nice kids menu on the board, but at this time Friday morning, there were no kids present. Decor is 1960's cool kitch and is a nice contrast to the vibrant-fresh-nothing-from-the-microwave breakfast.

Repeat trip? You bet. Even with the girls.
Prices? Average for good fresh food - about $10 per person, $7 per plate plus drink.
Ambiance: low key, casual, hang out or go.
Location: Could be a good stop off before an outing to Olbrich Gardens.
My biggest mistake? Not deciding to write this blog until we had left, and thus, I have no pic of my food to share! No worries, I will get one next time!

To tempt you, here's an image from their website. YUM!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Comfort Zones

Miracle of all miracles, the scales actually moved this morning. I've been holding steady all week and figured this week was going to be a big NIL in the loss department, but low and behold this morning I was gifted with this gem:

Weight loss this week: 1 lbs
Total loss to date: 89.5 lbs (Why couldn't it just be a straight 90 lbs? I got on and off the scale multiple time this morning willing off that additional .5 lbs, but no luck).
Weight til goal: 10.5 lbs

It was a good week. I did my first 4+ mile run (twice!). Erik and I also borrowed a friend's bike trailer and enjoyed a long and leisurely ride on the WI state trail system on Saturday. Summer is officially here in Wisconsin so even though the weather was only in the upper 60's, we still ventured to the pool on Sunday. You just have to go when it is open, that's what I figure. X loved it and P, well, it will grow on her, I am sure.

I said to Erik last night that I am still adjusting to this body. There can be a lot said on that topic, I am sure. But suffice it to say, I am just sort of marveling at my new body. In the way I marveled at my body when I gave birth. Or marveled at my body when I nursed my babies. It is a wonderous awe that encourages me to keep at it despite the approaching final (is it final or will I keep losing?) goal.

Still contemplating my first road race. Just gathering up some courage to register. I am thinking that a nice little family friend 5K run/walk in one of the local festivals might be the way to go. I've looked that Madison Mini - 5K in August and the Race to the Rhythm (our 4th of July deal), but I am a bit nervous about the crowds of the bigger races. Excuses excuses. For now, I will just keep doing my own thing. Yes, I still have comfort zones.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Every Tear Drop is a Waterfall

I suppose some things should remain private, but whatever, I am a share-er. An over-share-er. A share-too-much-er.

So, there is Mara, reveling in her morning run. The heat has finally broken here in Central Wisconsin (after some crrrraaazy storms last night) and 60 degrees has never felt so good. Running on down the road. My legs are feeling springy and good and I have silently vowed myself that I won't stop going until I pass the 4 mile mark.

I have created a new running play list on my IPOD and I am thoroughly enjoying myself. And as I pass on by my normal turn-to-home route the new Cold Play Song.. Every Tear Drop is a Waterfall pours thru my headphones.

Blubbering. No joke. I had this overwhelming emotional swelling up. Running beyond where I've been before. Feeling stronger than I have ever felt. Doing what I never thought I could do. And I swear to God, I was running and crying down Cross Country Rd.

Big Bang. There goes the fear.

Thankfully, I recovered without too much embarrassment. I am a crying running fool. So many things about myself I never knew before.

MapMyRUN - Workout

MapMyRUN Workout(Run / Jog) : Distance 4.27 mi, Duration 44:12, Pace 10:21, Speed 5.8 mi/h- #MapMyRUN: 06/09/2011 - Using Route - 1st 4 Miles

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Celebrating 25


In celebration of 25 inches lost, I am playing with some BEFORE and AFTER pictures. Gettin psyched up for the last 12 lbs!!
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Tuesday, June 7, 2011


The edge. I am looking forward. I am looking back. I am looking down. I am looking up. There are so many ways to go from here.

I've been very on edge the past few weeks. I am not sure what it is. I've rationalized a lot of "what if's" but nothing seems to make sense.

I posted in the forum of My Food Diary and I got an interesting and thought provoking response today. The responder said something to the effect of:

Sometimes as we approach the end of a large project (weight loss), we can become ambivalent, out of sorts, unfocused, angry, etc. It has to do with completion and accepting the next phase. Your feelings may be originating in one place and manifesting in another.

Hmmm. Go figure. Here I was thinking that having lost all this weight that I would be partying until the cows come home and it turns out I am just disgruntled. Who would have seen that coming?!

I feel almost like I am in therapy. Now that I have dealt with the most obvious manifestation of my "issues", (that is the extra Mara that I have been shuffling around with me all these years), I am finally exposed to address the actual question...

What am I going to do now?

There seem to be very simple and easy answers to this innocuous question. Like..

I am going to keep going.
I am going to maintain.
I will keep working hard.
I will live outside of myself.
I will find my purpose.

It is that last one that baffles me. I have been very MARA focused this past year. I have been consumed with my time, my exercise, my food, my clothes, my body. It has been physical. The year of Mara.

My purpose must be something outside of me. It can't be purely physical. I need to address my emotional and spiritual needs. And that is even more daunting than what I tackled in the year of Mara. I've got to find my purpose.

So, here I am standing at the edge of the cliff. I am not afraid to jump. I am just not sure where I am going to land.

Or perhaps, I will just find a bench.

Monday, June 6, 2011


Summer is finally here! I took a spontaneous vacation from work last week and it did wonders for my mental state. I had just been in the grumpiest mood, so some time wandering the mall, talking to my Mom, and sitting at the garage sale did wonders for my perspective. Not that my work life is bad or stressful. Rather, I think I just needed a change of pace for a couple of days.

This weekend was gorgeous. We had the girls in the front yard in the sprinkler on both days. We drove out to Black Earth and visited the Veterans Memorial Park on the main street. The park has a nice little play area for the kiddos and it was a chill place to visit. Lunch at the Luckenbooth Cafe was less successful. The kid alternatively were fussy and crying and by early afternoon we were all ready to head home for a nap.

Sunday we visited Olbrich Gardens. It is a sweet place for my little princesses to explore. There is a decorative tower-like structure on site that X affectionately refers to as her 'castle'. It also is a great place to snap a picture. Funny how all of a sudden I don't mind being in them...

A little more focus on my diet this week and keeping up with the double duty excercise. Had a good run yesterday morning. Having hubby on the plan is certainly helping keep me focused. Thanks babe.

Weight loss this week: 3.5 lbs (Lowest on scale since jr. year high school)
Total loss to date: 88.5 lbs
Weight to lose till 100 lbs goal: 11.5 lbs

I am anticipating this summer more than any other. The pool opens next Friday. We've got plans to get out with the bike. I can't wait to DO DO DO! I might even try golfing. You know, stranger things have happened. June is full of promise.