Thursday, May 12, 2011
There have been a couple of hefty topics floating around in this generally vacant brain of mine for the past couple of days.
The first has to do with definitions. In the sense of - How do you define yourself?
No simple topic. As I was mulling over ideas of defines it occurred to me how many of us define ourselves by what passes our lips.
What we eat. What we eat too much.
or even, what we drink. What we drink too much.
Am I what I eat? Is the old Mara defined by what what I ate? Is the new Mara defined by what I don't eat?
I've come to the conclusion that no, I am (essentially) the same person. I am a more energetic and connected person now. I am not different, just MORE me, if that makes sense.
I was making myself numb with food which would give me an instant sense of contentment but ironically would ultimately make me feel less me, less happy, less content. Now I eat to give myself fuel so that I can continue to be happy, and I feel more content, not less.
So, if I won't let what I eat define me, what does? Without falling into the trap of defining myself by my roles (wife, mother, lover), I would say at my most essential self I am:
1. Seeking to fulfill the potential that God has given me;
2. Wide eyed at the glory of creation;
3. Happy with the blessings that I have been given;
4. Hoping to love more completely (myself and others) every day.