Monday, November 29, 2010

The Most Dreaded Weigh In

This morning I catalogued the things that I am proud of in the past week. I am proud of excercising 6 times in the past week. Adding lunges, plank and jackknife excercises have changed up my routine and I am excited about getting my core muscles into better shape. I am proud that I basically followed my previous eating patterns, with a few noteable exceptions.

Weight loss this week: None
Total Weight loss to date: 47lbs

The things I am not so proud of:

Despite being down 1.5lbs earlier this week, I appear to have gained it back over the weekend. I attribute this my consumption of scrumptuous apple pie that lived in my house over the weekend and which I could NOT decline. The pie and the extra helpings of a couple of key side dishes (sweet potatoes, my absolute favorite food), I over indulged. Being in my highly self actualized state, I realized that if I indulged a bit, I set off the sugar monster... and the harder it was to stop. I couldn't eat just a bite of pie, it would have been easier for me to not eat any at all. It was a good learning experience.

I am relieved that the pie is gone. Time to start a new week.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A Note of Thanks

It is the most wonderful time of the year. In my quiet moments I reflect on the joys of my life. I say a little private thank you to God for all the blessings in my life.

I marvel in the spirit of my princess Xanthe and my Porter pumkin. I look at their little blue eyes and realize how awesome life is. They constantly remind me of the thrill of life - their enthusiasm for even the most basic things. Thankful for kissable cheeks, blown kisses and the laughter of sisters holding hands.

I am thankful for a husband who loves me for better or for worse. Who encourages me in all my silly endeavors. Who pampers me with the love, kindness and understanding day in and day out. He lifts me up when I am down. Makes me beautiful when he smiles at me. Brings laughter and joy to my life daily.

To my parents for showing me what a loving marriage and family life is all about - thank you. It is easy to learn what love is when you see in your family. Thank you for your years of love, support and encouragement.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Weight Loss this week: 3 lbs
Total Loss to Date: 47 lbs

Here comes the week I've been dreading. I have been waffling (mmmm waffles) about what we should do for Thanksgiving dinner, if anything. You see, normally, the meal would be hosted at my Mom's and we would prepare a portion of the dishes, and she would do the rest. This year, my retired and predictably golf-addicted parents have become sunbirds and flew the coop. They are on, what I like to refer to as, "Southwest Golfing Tour 2010" and consequently spending turkey day with my sister in Phoenix. That leaves a great big gaping hole in our plans.

To cook or not to cook? That is the question. I made the executive decision to eat out on Thursday. It is entirely non-traditional but it seems like an easy answer to a perplexing problem - that is - how to cook a huge meals with two toddlers under foot? Not to mention clean up? The overwhelming argument was made by the pricing - kids under 5 eat free. That means for the grand price of about $35 Erik & I can go, eat turkey and the fixing, bring the leftovers home, and not pay for the kids. We routinely spend that much for sandwiches at Panera Bread. That means that either this meal is going to be legendarily bad, or Panera Bread is seriously overpriced... I am rooting for the later. Come on Essen Haus!

So I head off to the grocery store yesterday, to stock up on items for the week/ weekend. My plan is that even though we are out for Thursday dinner, that we would still partake in some holiday food. Erik will make Gingerbread waffles. I might do a turkey breast at some point. I am laughing now, cause after the shopping I did, we will definately be eating. Apparently my dieting self does not translate into a healthier grocery bill. I bought all sorts of garbage that I can't eat. I bought stuff to make pies, and breads, cookies, bacon, sausage, potatoes, sweet potatoes, roasts, hams, turkeys, and on and on. Erik rightly asked" "Who is going to eat all this stuff?" I thought. I'd like to.

If I maintain my current weight this week, I will be happy. If I lose any, I will be thrilled. If I gain, I will chastise myself and work harder next week. Watch this space.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

What Kind of Girl Am I?

In a fit of existential consumerism, I spent, oh, like 6 hours of my day off yesterday trolling the big box stores. First off, it was preview day at Macy's. I am not normally one to watch for mailed flyers for big sales, but seeing as I am housesitting/dogsitting the Eddy household, I couldn't help but notice my Mom's Macy flier - ONE DAY SALE. ALL DAY SHOPPING PASS.

Sign me up. I am that kind of girl.

Off I went, in my tight new jeans (down another size, check!), all day shopping pass, and mental list of items of possible purchase:

1. Mens Shoes (Erik has apparently worn thru his soles.... again)
2. Mens coats (my man wants a pea coat)
3. Misses (ALL OF IT. LOL)
4. Childrens
5. The Lancome Counter (cause, well, I am an addict)
6. Jewelry, shoes, accessories.

Conclusion: The whole store.

I hit the mens section first. Picked up new work shoes for Erik (included soles), and used my shopping pass. Chi-ching! Additional $10 off. Me Likey. The sales men helped me look for any pants in Erik size. Nope. Pea coat? Nope. Undershirts in tall sizes? Nope. Ok, what is it with mens sizes? Apparently you can be tall and skinny, and tall and fat (aka BIG & Tall), but there is a serious gap in options between 38/34 and 44/34. Poor Erik.

On to misses. I approached the misses department like it was my excercise for the day. I tried on more tops, sweaters, jeans, dresses, jackets, you name it, I had it on. And it was fun. Yep. You read that - FUN. And I bought nothing. Yep, nothing. There were lots of things that I liked, but, at this point of the morning, I was starting to feel frugal. I am sure you've had that happen. You go to spend spend spend, and then there is this little voice that says - "really? you really need that? you are going to spend that much money on that?"

I didn't care though, I was having fun.

Detour to the Lancome counter. Now, this counter is not my favorite. My favorire Lancome lady is Mary, and she works at the Boston Store - but nonetheless, I saw in the flier that if you bought a full price product you could get some amazing $300 value of products for $50. Gotta check that out. But my frugal self was thinking, I don't really have any product needs right now. And the Lancome girl (again, not my favorite) was trying to talk me into the $50 gift set that included the party colors and not the muted colors, when clearly, I am a muted color kind of person.... and that turned me off. I didn't want to pay $50 for purple eye shadow. Walk away. Just walk away. What kind of girl am I? The kind of girl that buys cosmetics depending on whether I like the counter person... yep. That is me.

Walk to the shoe department. Am I the kind of girl who wears knee high boots? The pre-weight loss Mara would be decidedly anti-knee-high boots. As Stacy London would tell you, they visually break up the line of the body, and given the need to wear tight jeans, they would accentuate the weight in the mid-section.

But what kind of girl am I now? With my smaller mid-section and my thin calves - I have always had thin calves.

I hook up with my nice shoe guy "Bo", and start in. My only criteria was brown. I want brown boots. But I am not even sure if I would want snow boots (practical, I do live in Wisconsin), sexy boots (cause sometimes you feel sexy), or some sort of every day run around town boot (and what would that look like?). I tried on rubber rain boots, faux sherling boots, flat knee high hobo looking boots, slough boots, buckled boots, field boots, you name it, I had it on. Except cowboy boots. You've got to draw the line somewhere.

And I couldn't decide what kind of girl I am.

Detour to Target. And Kohls. DSW. Marshalls. Famous Footwear. And then online at home - Zappos. In fact, I am still thinking about boots.

I am not convinced I am the kind of girl who wears knee high boots. Or Jeggings for that matter (which is a whole separate blog post all together).

I am, however, the kind of girl who believes that you can redefine yourself. You can transform your life. And you can do this without buying a thing.

Monday, November 15, 2010

How did I do that?

Coooooooooooooold Monday morning. No more denial that winter is here. Maybe it is the fact that I've been either pregnant or nursing for the past 4 winters (making me insulated, glowing and warmer) but this year it seems really cold to me. Like add another comforter to the bed and brrr... how about a comforter while I watch TV?

The news:

Weight loss this week: 4 lbs (not sure HOW I did that - I swear I've been eating)
Total loss to date: 44 lbs

A couple of minor accomplishments. This won't sound like much, but they are emotional victories. There is a local brewery not far from our house here in Madison. We like to go there. When it opened about 9 months ago, I wasn't sure I was going to like eating there, cause the tables seems short, and the chairs tall, and well frankly, I didn't fit under the table well. It was uncomfortable - and this was the table, not even the booth!

We headed over there on Saturday night to have dinner with the girls, and I was leaning back rubbing Porter's back, and realized - not only am I sitting comfortably at this table, but I am sitting comfortably with my legs crossed. I couldn't cross my legs like, what 20 lbs ago. It isn't much, but man, does it feel good.

And in other news, my black LL Bean field coat that I haven't worn in 4 winters, but couldn't bear to donate, fits again. It is big and comfy, just like it was when I bought it, at the LL Bean outlet in Concord NH, oh, like 6 years ago.

Bring on the turkey - I am soooooooooo ready for you!

Monday, November 8, 2010


It is Monday - and although I contemplated moving my weigh in date until Thursday given my off cycle post last week, I am sticking to my poor choice of days (at least, for the time being).

Loss this week: 2 lbs
Total loss to date: 40 lbs

Had my weigh in day been any day but today, this would have been a better week. But, Sunday is my bad day (game day chili is my downfall), and thus, Monday morning is always a bit depressing.

Wisconsin is flirting with winter and I am so thankful that Mom & Dad have let me confiscate their Wii Fit. At this point, I am not sure if I would have gotten so far without it. What can I say? Flying like a bird and waddling like a penguin suits me. Although my "Mii" is way cuter than this pic, swap out the mustache for some pig tails, and that is basically me.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

40 in 60

I started this journey on August 31, 2010.
Today it is November 4, 2010.

What is that? 63 days? This morning the scale rewarded me with the lowest number I have seen thus far. The lowest number I have seen since my pre-Xanthe weight loss push.

40 pounds lost.

That is a big number. It is a number that exceeds my own age. It is 10 lbs, 4 times. It is 20 lbs twice. When I wrote my full disclosure post 63 days ago, it was a number I couldn't fathom. I had goals then, but frankly, I had never actually met any goals I had set for myself. So, this is new. And it feels good.

I started to wonder recently how far I could go with this. Could I be the next Jennifer Hudson? Kelly Osborne? Could I keep continue losing 10 lbs at a clip, maybe 3 more times? Maybe 6?

I am not entirely sure where this journey ends or even if it does. I have met many of my short terms goals already. Feel better, have more energy, run around, play with my kids (or dance with my kids which is more likely). I was at the doctor for an infection a couple of weeks back and my blood pressure is back to normal for me - 110/70. I haven't seen it back in that normal range since delivering Porter with preeclampsia.

Although my weight loss euphoria has waned in the past two weeks, I have realized this. When you start something new, when you have a new idea. The initial excitement and enthusiasm is great. It is easy to embrace the possibilities. What is harder is to forge on with your goal once that euphoria has fallen away. To continue, day in and day out, to focus the energy and willpower, to reach the goal.

Monday, November 1, 2010

The shakes

Time to get down to business:

Loss this week: 3lbs
Total loss to date: 38lbs

My real hope was to hit that 40lbs mark. Earlier this week, the weight seem to be sliding off, a pound a day! This seems to happen to me about every 3rd week. My body revs up and with relative ease, I will drop those pesky LBs.

But, in case you haven't heard, we celebrated the sugar induced holiday, Halloween this week. And I specifically say week, because it appears that Halloween has become a multiple function event. There are fall festivals, zoo boo, mall trick or treating, trunk or treat, and then, the good old fashioned house to house bit that I remember from my own childhood.

This is not to say that we are big fans of Halloween at the Lewis house. We are not. But, I cannot see cutting out the ritual entirely, and thus, we did take Xanthe house to house last night. She LOVED it. I cannot overstate this. She mastered the knocking-look-cute-trick-or-treat-thank-you-happy-halloween scene with ease. The maniacal grin when her basket had two treats was priceless. "I have treats Mommy!" Makes the heart melt... (in you mouth not in your hand)

Clearly, Halloween, and holidays for that matter, are not designed for the dieter. I cannot tell you the self restraint I had to employ to walk past the basket of Snickers, Mounds, Reeses, 3 Musketeers and Whoopers that inhabited our house for the past 10 days. It was my fault, I bought it. Add to that, that I am home, alone, staring that that basket all week.... it was enough to give the girl the shakes.

I even baked cookies.

I ate 5.

2 Pillsbury bake at home pumpkin sugar cookies on Saturday. 3 in a sugar craze rage yesterday afternoon. But I did not, I repeat - DID NOT - open any piece of sugary goodness contained in a shiny foil wrapper. (Argh. Shaking!)

Next up. Turkey Day. A whole different type of temptation.