Wednesday, October 27, 2010

You know I can't keep my mouth shut.

If you are going to come out, you might as well own it. It is no secret that I am a vocal conservative. There are, I am guessing, a lot of people that have blocked my facebook posts because of my politics. I know. Maybe I share too much. Maybe I offend my liberal friends by my very existence. I hope not. I hope they know me well enough to know that I am not a “bitter clinger”. I am not “without science or reason”. I am, just, well, unapologetic. And you need to hear why.

Here are the things I cannot get with.

I cannot get with legislating moral values. Debates on Roe v. Wade and other culture war issues do not get me excited. That isn’t my bread and butter. You aren’t going to hear me preaching on those issues.

I cannot get with legislating common sense. If you do something stupid, and you hurt yourself or someone else, you should pay the price. We’ve got a legal system to deal with it. If you want to ride a motorcycle without a helmet, and then you end up squished on the highway. You assumed the risk. You knew the danger. There it is. Call me callous, but unless you are a danger to the public, I don’t care what you do to yourself. Eat McDonald’s every day for 75 years. You pay the price.

But, what I can get excited about – what I routinely get excited about – is being told, by some almightly smarty pants government that they know what is better for me than I know for myself. That if I fork over 25% or 35% of my salary, that the government is better equipped to give it out to people who need it. That the government is more efficient at doling out health care than the private sector. That the government is going to secure my well being. That the government is more reliable than, well, frankly, I am.

My very sweet (and for what it adds to the story, immigrant and Russian) hairdresser asked me– “So, are you going to vote in the election?” the last time I was in her chair.

I sort of stopped mid-conversation. Politics is a whole different conversations than weight loss, fashion trends or the weather. I looked at her seriously.

“Are you sure you want to talk politics? I have pretty strong views.”

She laughed. Sure, she said. She doesn’t have any strong philosophy and went on to explain that there was a Russ Feingold campaign worker in her chair last week telling her to vote for Russ.

I explained that I don’t necessarily vote for a person. I vote for a philosophy. I believe in freedom and liberty. In small government. In state’s rights. I believe that as an individual with half a brain, I have the ability and should be the master of my own destiny. If that means buying a house and then ending up paying a mortgage that is $70,000 upside down, so be it (and so it is). I have a responsibility. I assumed the risk. I bought the house and signed the loan. I will pay the price. Ultimately, I am accountable. I don’t want a bail out. I don’t want a stimulus or a cash for my clunker. I will just try to learn my lesson.

I told her that I hear that Russ Feingold is a nice guy. A “maverick” even. In fact, he’s so liberal that he often times doesn’t vote with his fellow Dems because they aren’t liberal enough. Nothing against Russ as a person, I just don’t agree with his political philosophy. No big left leviathan for me. No thanks.

My hairdresser was quiet and contemplative. It is hard to engage in civil political discourse. Particularly if you are seen as backwards or just down right ignorant for not agreeing with the view that is being peddled by the mainstream media, the liberal university, the cool green crowd or the other influential voices in your community. She went on cutting my hair.

So, for any or all of my closet conservative friends. It is time to come out. It is time to say enough is enough. We live in American people, not western Europe (ps. Do you really want to live in France these days? Greece? England?). Get your hands off my wallet and my liberty Mr. D.C.

Let’s roll.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Foggy Fog!

Hallelujah it's Monday! ... do you hear the sarcasm? I had very low expectations this week given my general lack of intense excercise (surprise infection on Tuesday morning took me to urgent care and generally threw off my system) and the onset of HUNGER. I don't know why but this week was more difficult than any other so far. I craved cheesey, pepperoni pizza.. mexican... french fries, hamburgers... mac n cheese. I just wanted to eat! Alternatively I ate paper thin crust veggie pizza, tacos minus the cheese and sour cream, half of a portion of kid size fries and burger, and a spoonful of mac n cheese. Let me tell you, it did NOT quell the craving. It did seem to do the trick (or treat?):

Loss this week: 3 lbs
Total loss to date: 35 lbs

I've been anxious on many levels this week. Diet, work, even in my sleep I've had troubling and anxious dreams. I am thinking it is hormonal and seasonal. It is starting to hint at winter around here, with a thick Dora-like Foggy Fog this morning.

It is a nice metaphor for how I am starting to feel about my diet. Just malaise.... I am still at it, and determined, but I can see the long slog that it is going to be. I started this journey on August 31st. I have lost 35lbs so far (got to tell you, wasn't even capable of comprehending that number when I started), but I am dreading the real work ahead. Lets not even mention the hurdles on the calendar, Thanksgiving, Christmas....

Forgive me for my lack of enthusiasm. It is Monday. I am feeling lazy and full of dread for what I SHOULD be getting done this week. On all fronts!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Adios Lane Bryant aka shopping

It seems like a little thing. Going to the store. The mall. Target.
Looking at clothes. Trying clothes on. Deciding what looks good. What doesn't.

When you are, umm.... what is the politically correct term? Plus sized? fluffy? or lets just say it like it is - a BIG girl, shopping isn't so easy. There are a couple of options. The sort of middle of the road, over priced, and often times too boldly printed, Lane Bryant. Most American malls have one. There is the short selection at Target in the "Womens" dept. There are the higher end brands, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, at Macy's. Then there are the retailers that have extended sizes, but forget trying them on. Online only at Old Navy, J. Jill, Land's End, LL Bean....

In an effort to stay sane in my out of shape state, I have tried them all. And then, when you get really frustrated, you buy things just because you can fit into them. You are totally mortified that you've reached the point where finding things that make you look good is really no longer an option.

Yesterday, despite not wanting to buy anything, my jeans situation was getting desperate. The size that I had been wearing was just not staying on my body anymore, so it was time to bite the bullet and buy some new, even just cheap ones. My goal is to lose more weight.

Mom & I headed up to the Tanger Outlets, cause well, why not? I started at Lane Bryant, as I usually do, and lamented their cut and rinse and yheir $69 price tag. So, leaving that pair on hold, I thought I might have one other option, Old Navy. Then we fell into The Gap. Just for fun, I checked their jeans... huh, well, I could try some of these on... who knew they carried my new, lower, size?! 6 pairs deep in the dressing room, and the consensus - these jeans are too big!

I visited stores that I haven't seriously shopped in for years... trying on so many jeans, that by the end, I think I burned more calories than I do in a normal 30 minute work out! I finally decided on a cheap pair from Old Navy, thinking that soon, I will be in the jean market again. It is a good thing I did, cause having worn the new Old Navy jeans for a total of, oh, like 6 hours - I already wish I had bought a size smaller.

Are skinny jeans the modern day glass slipper? Did I mention that we hit the Disney Store... starting Christmas shopping early this year. I've got Cinderella on my mind.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Check Engine

Business first. Weigh in.

Loss this week: 2 lbs
Total loss to date: 32 lbs

As we hustled the girlies into the Land Rover this morning, I reminded Erik -
"Do you have something for lunch?" That is, did you take something so you don't spend $$ eating out?
"No, I was going to take the Land Rover to have the Check Engine light read."

What? The Check Engine light! That is bad! My mind starts racing, we've only been driving this Dave Ramsey beater since May, and we are going to have to put more $$ into it? I am envisioning weekends of Erik in the garage under the hood. $$ sinking into a vehicle whose life span is unknown. I even start thinking about that VW commercial I saw for the Routan.....

"Red? A red check engine light! Were you going to tell me?"

"I am going to have the light read.... R.E.A.D... it is yellow. Not red."

Oh, well that is a relief. And as I turned toward the coffee pot and poured another cup, I thought - wouldn't it be great if marriages had check engine lights? In fact, there are a whole range of thing that would be a lot easier in life we if we had check engine lights.

Bank accounts
Government spending (ok, I couldn't help myself...)
and on and on...

I've never actually thought to myself - Oh! Check engine on the marriage! But frankly, it isn't such a bad idea. And without consciously recognizing it, we basically did that this weekend.

With our favorite babysitter lined up, we headed down to State Street. We felt footloose and fancy free. I tried to avoid kid-related topics, you know, eating habits, poop, droll, lack of sleep. We talked about careers, and memories, and our first date, and things we know now that we didn't know before. We enjoyed a cocktail, and some italian yummy-calorie-laden food, and held hands and wandered into the Comedy Club not knowing if there were seats for us. There were. We laughed and laughed - and I asked Erik, "do you think people think we are married to each other or married to other people and on a rendevous?"

"Probably married to each other since we aren't in a seedy bar somewhere..."


Despite my headache (yes folks, I would qualify this as a proper hangover) Sunday morning, I was so thankful that we did a check engine on our marriage this weekend. You know, some day, our kids will grow up and move out (YAY!), and it will just be Erik & I again. Check Engine. I actually can't wait for us to be old somewhere (with palm trees please), alone, together and with lots of lovely memories shared between us.

Friday, October 15, 2010

So happy together!


A little Friday joy. And a random thought, why did I decide on Monday weighs ins? I am always my lowest on the scales on Friday morning. The weekend launches on such a fanastically scale induced high, that by Monday, I've celebrated my success by adding 2 lbs back on. I suppose there are worst things for a girl who likes to eat out and avoid her kitchen and subsequent dirty dishes on the weekend.

A big super huge THANK YOU to Leslie Ober, who took some amazing photos of the Lewis family. I think we were sitting still for oh, like, 30 seconds, and she still captured us. You are one talented lady! Thank you for capturing this day in our memory for years to come. If you are in Indy, Leslie Ober is who you want to see for your family photos... heck, she is WORTH traveling for!!!

And in other news... my wonderful husband is back in town, and seemingly more infatuated with me than ever. I am a LUCKY LUCKY girl. Thank you for the Lewis family for reminding him how gorgeous I am during his visit with you. Your checks will be arriving in the mail shortly.
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Monday, October 11, 2010


It was a successful week on the diet front, the official weigh in is (note to self, stop weighing yourself every day, now you are depressed that you gained a pound over the weekend despite losing 5 since last monday!):

Loss this week: 5 lbs
Total loss to date: 30 lbs

A couple of notes on my Mara makeover. My Food Diary is helping a lot. There have been a couple of days, particularly when I excercise, that I haven't been eating enough calories to keep my metabolism in the peak burning range. If you don't eat enough, your body will start to shut down thinking that you are starving. I am not starving so best I make sure my body knows.

My nuclear hair procedure on Friday was great. I was super excited and left proclaiming - "They're dead! They're dead!(the hairs on my chinny chin chin) Are dead!" The process itself was very quick. Cool the treated area. Wear some goggles. Zap zap. It was a little prick, like what you might think an acupunture needle feels like. I was totally fine until she did my upper lip. Holy mackerel! That was pain. My eyes started watering. But it was over quickly and I go back in a month to do it again. So far, so good!

Weighing on my heart is the news that we received on Friday evening. Erik's beloved grandfather left us in his sleep. Grandad was one of Erik's best friends, and formative in the creation of the man that I love today. As Erik said - he had a gentle strength - a quality that I see also in Erik. Grandad and Grandma had an life long love affair. I adored that she sat on his lap as she told their story to me (can't remember the last time I've sat on Erik's lap!)- still madly in love all these years later. That is a marriage to emulate.

Porter & Xanthe have another very special angel watching over them now. Peace to those who mourn for Grandad is now lving at the beginning of the road instead of the "end of the road" (as they affectionally refer to their place at the top of the mountain in Flintstone MD).

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Full Disclosure

Disclaimer: If you don't want to know the dirty dark secrets of women and their struggle with unwanted hair - stop reading now. This disclaimer may be particularly pertinent to those men in my life that read my blog. You might not want to know what I am going to tell you.


Ok ladies. Here we go. Back in my original yikes-this-is-me post, you know, the one with the face shot, I mentioned that I was going to have a couple of skin treatments done.

For that effort, I met with the aesthetician and went onto a Obagi regime of applying nightly Obagi Blender and prescription Retin A. Wow. What an amazing product. I need to take another face shot, but the Obagi blender, a skin lightener, actually did away with my two hormonally induced (I blame Mirena) melasma spots on my cheeks. My skin looks great. My pores have shrunk, I've had no acne, and I look good even without makeup (if I do say so myself).

That was step 1.

Tomorrow I start step 2.

Back in the 1990's Rosie O'Donnell pulled at a hair on her chin, had the camera zoom in, and showed the world the long dark black hair that was growing out of her face. I was an impressionable teenager, home from school in the afternoon, and I distinctly remember thinking to myself - "GROSS!" How does a woman have a dark black hair like THAT growing out of her face? (I have tried to locate a clip of that for this blog, thankfully, cyberspace wants to forget that clip as much as I do.)

Fast Forward to 2010. I am waging a war against those little black hair... hair... hairs. Ok. There it is. Hairs. I HATE them. I mean, really, really, really, hate them. I pluck. I bleach. I pluck some more. They keep coming back. They keep getting darker. Tomorrow, I am getting nuclear on them.

Welcome to IPL. That would be, Intense Pulsed Light. You may have seen this on the Kardashian reality show. I am told that one of the episodes showed the procedure. In my radical post-babies-new-Mara makeover, I have signed up. Tomorrow I will go where no Eddy woman (as far as I know) has gone before. I am praying for a radical permanent intervention so that a peace treaty between me and my tweezers can be achieved. I will put down the artillery for a permanent, even just 80%, hair removal. Done. No more. Don't grow back. See ya.

It is the 1st of 6 treatments. It is completely extravagant and I love my husband for letting me splurge on eradicating this little black secret, ahem, hairs, which will do leaps and bounds for my happiness.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My (new) Food Diary

Having reached my first goal (-25 lbs), I am taking a moment to evaluate how better to attack the next 25 lbs. Since August 30, 2010, I have been writing down every thing that passes my lips. I have been doing this in an elementary fashion, literally typing what I eat into a Word document. It is now 11 pages long.

After surfing some weight loss blogs, I happened across a well reviewed website, My Food Diary and I signed up for a free trial. So far, I like what I see. The food database is extensive. It is an easy way to count calories, and it even tells you how many more calories you can consume to maintain, lose 1.5lbs or 2lbs per week. You can also log excercise and body details.

Best part? Little smiley faces that the daily report gives you when you have a good day. I like positive feedback. Smiley faces work great, but if for some reason, they just want to start sending a "happy person paycheck" in addition, I would welcome that as well.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Indy 6 hour race!

Wow. I think a Monday morning has never hit me so hard. This weekend we drove to Indy to meet up with a group of families from all over the states (Vermont, South Carolina, Virginia, Ohio and Indiana) that have little ones born in Feb. 2008. The weekend was jammed pack full of toddler friendly fun, and Xanthe June didn't stop the whole weekend. I have no idea where this little child gets her energy, but she ran, and she jumped, and she laughed, and she climbed, and she ran some more, and she ate, and she... well, she woke up Porter ("Porter! Wake up!"). There were moment that I wished I had a tranquilizer gun...

All said and done, it was probably the most perfect toddler weekend one could have! Gymboree party with pizza! Children's Museum with dinosaurs and Barbies and sandboxes (Oh My!), swimming in the big pool, playing at the park. If Xanthe had planned it herself, it couldn't have been more perfect. Although, I am not sure Xanthe would have planned the Mommy nite out on Saturday that was the highlight of MY trip. It was awesome to laugh and talk with ladies who knew exactly where you were coming from.... it was nice to feel normal, social and immediately accepted... thank you ladies! (I wish we all lived closer..)

And my diet? you ask.....

Before we left, I sneaked an early peak at the numbers... and I had reached my first goal - 25 lbs lost.

The official weigh in for this week is:
Loss this week: 1.5 lbs
Total loss to date: 25.5lbs

I didn't lose any weight over the weekend (despite going to the hotel gym on Saturday afternoon), but that can hardly be surprising since I was eating and really just guessing at what options were tolerable. Fast food a couple of times, and an Arby's sandwich last night that totally blew my per meal calorie count out of the water. I am just happy I didn't gain any weight since Friday!!!! :)

On to the next 25 lbs.....