Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Off the bench

It has certainly been a while since I have last find the time to post. What has happened you ask? Maybe I am having post election traumatic stress syndrome, or stock market manic depression, or gas price fall out schizophrenia. Its certainly got to be some sort of psychological disorder to keep Mara from sleeping and writing.

The sleeping thing. Anyone who knows me knows I am a champion sleeper. It is my greatest gift. Now, granted, it must be in a proper bed. I am not the kind of person who can just nodd of on a plane, train or automobile. But, give me a bed and I can show you some sleep. But lately, sleep has been eluding me somewhat. Not in any way comparable to those who actually suffer from insomnia.. but lets just say, it's not as easy as it used to be. Is this a sign that I am getting older? I am thinking particularly about how old men can't sleep past 5am. Am I destined to do the same?

Now, there is quite a bit going on. As referenced above, on the macro level we've got all the headlines of doom and gloom that you can't seem to escape. But, it is the micro level that really matters. This week alone I've heard of 3 people I know of who have lost their jobs. We are in the midst of Erik's interview process for a job that is not located here. As a result, there are all sorts of thoughts of moving, trying to sell our house (do we even have ANY equity?), buying a house (could we get a loan?), the list goes on. And whereas, before January 28, 2008 I was moderately foot loose and fancy free, add a baby in the mix and you've got a whole new level of worries.

Ok, so the sleep thing.

And the writing thing? When I don't write it is usually because there is something going on that I don't want to acknowledge. My recent silence may be on some level my "waiting in the wings" to see how this all shakes out. I am a firm believer that we will end up where we are meant to be. We always do. The worry won't effect the outcome, so why do it? The not writing therefore, is just my way of sitting on the bench. Watching the game. Waiting to be subsituted in.

With visits from Bren, impromptu trips to WI and turkey day looming, it is quite a game. This is me, getting off the bench, and back into the game.

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