There has been this little idea bopping around in my head. I want to write. It isn't a new feeling for me. I have this itch every now and then. It strikes me like a forgotten item on a "honey do" list... I need to write. Man. When am I going to do that?
Needing to write also causes me heartache. There are ramifications of having "writing" on my to do list. Needing to write necessitates an assessment of my actual job - an assessment that frankly I would often like to avoid. Lets put it this way, I didn't go to school to be a claims adjuster. I don't think anyone ever dreams of being a claims adjuster. Some times my job is surprisingly fulfilling but most of the time, it is just my job. Writing to me is like the vacation I can't afford to take. Its the cabana on the swim up pool at that fabulous Riveria Maya all inclusive that Erik and I haven't made it to yet... I can close my eyes. I can feel it. Oh, man...
Writing also opens a lot of doors, and windows too. What would I write about? If I were really truly going to write, a nooooooooooovel... all of a sudden the words, the thoughts they disappear. A novel is just, well, long. Mara tends to function in short bursts of energy and thought. A big bang, if you will. If I could, I would write about love, about seeing the world with new eyes. About birth, death, life, fear and fruition.
A novel is like a thesis. I wrote a thesis once and not sure I would sign up to do it again. It demands an outline. Character development. Consistency. Thought. Mood. Funtion. Dynamism. Wit and poignancy. It requires editing and more editing. Critique, criticism and re-writing. So much emotional investment. Such a journey.
It is at about this point in my thought process when I start to make excuses. It sounds like an awful amount of work, this writing. Mara is lazy, a lazy pragmatist really. That is my great excuse. The dog didn't eat it. I just didn't get around to doing it.
But more and more, writing speaks to me. It has started here. I am not sure where it will end or who it will end with. Maybe my story will be told. I am coming around to the idea.